In part 1 of this post, I told the story of how by the age of 20, I felt totally helpless and disempowered when it came to exercise.
Disappointed adults, unkind PE teachers, and a focus on competitive team sports, left my awkward and uncoordinated self feeling like fitness and physical activities just weren’t meant for people like me.
But happily, that’s not the end of the story – it’s just the beginning.
You see, I’ve always loved music, and I’ve always loved to dance.
Not in the sense of being sent to ballet classes – just flailing about to music for fun when I got the chance. And once I was older, going out to metal clubs and goth nights to flail about to music for fun in a situation where nobody cared if I looked weird (and occasionally, lose my glasses by headbanging too hard – fun times!).
Dancing didn’t count as exercise, in my mind – it was just fun, release, a way to feel alive…
And so it was that I saw an advert in a local newsletter for “Arabic dance” classes, while I was home from university for the summer. Interesting… I had no idea at all of what this involved, except that you didn’t have to dance with a partner or touch anybody (which sounded unbearably, toe-curlingly awkward), and it seemed like it’d be more artistic and creative than the other kinds of dance I’d come across.
Anyway, as soon as I overcame my shyness enough to go along to a class, I was hooked. This was The Thing I’d been waiting for! The music was amazing, the costumes were amazing, and best of all, I felt like I could actually do it!
Was I suddenly no longer the clumsy young person with wonky hand-eye coordination? No – I still got intensly confused about footwork, struggled with balance, and had very un-dancerly posture. It wasn’t easy.
The difference was the attitude of the teachers.
Where school PE teachers had shown me thinly-veiled disappointment, frustration, pity, or sometimes outright contempt, my new dance teachers were incredibly supportive and encouraging.
They saw the beauty in each dancer’s attempts to master the moves, and made us all feel beautiful too, even as they gently corrected us. They genuinely believed that each of us had the capacity to learn new skills.
I came away from each class feeling relaxed, poised, accomplished.
So where does the Pilates actually come in?
When I take up a hobby, I take it seriously (did I mention I’m Autistic?). Before long, Middle Eastern dance had taken over all of my free time, and I was determined to become a solo performer, maybe even a professional dancer one day!
Inevitably at some point there had to be a reckoning, where once again my enthusiasm and love of what I do would run up against the reality that I just wasn’t very strong, fit or coordinated. This point came a few years in when I entered a dance competition, and found myself WAY out of my depth surrounded by professional-level performers.
Talking to one of the judges afterwards, she told me the only way I’d ever be able to be as amazingly graceful and powerful as those other dancers was to go and work hard on my physical fitness. And that just going to lots of dance classes like I’d been doing wasn’t going to cut it unless I backed it up with suitable exercise.
She told me I needed to get myself to a Pilates class ASAP.
I went to my first every Pilates class the following week, and to cut a long story short, since then I’ve never stopped practicing Pilates regularly.
My posture, coordination, balance and strength came on in leaps and bounds, and today you might never guess how clumsy I once seemed (though you can still bamboozle me easily by telling me to do something completely unfamiliar with my arms and legs, as I am reminded of every time I try a new dance style).
The more different Pilates classes and teachers I’ve experienced over the last decade, and the more I’ve learned about the movements and the logic behind them, the more I have come to enjoy and appreciate this system of exercise, and how powerful it is.
So, what made Pilates so different an experience from the school sports and PE that had left me feeling hopeless?
- As with dancing, the teachers were kind and encouraging, and wanted everyone to benefit from the class & have a good experience
- It was all about using movement to care for your body and feel better in yourself, instead of competing with others, comparing yourself, or trying to reach some set goal
- The learning curve was gentle and accessible – Pilates exercises can be modified to create just the right level of challenge for each unique body, and at a beginner level they can be very simple yet still powerful
- I was generally able to keep up with the classes (and more importantly, never felt that I was being shamed or criticised when I couldn’t)
- I came away from each class feeling better – energised rather than tired out, and relaxed rather than frustrated
For me, dance was the gateway to enjoying movement again, and it gave me the motivation to even consider exercise as an option! Then it was Pilates which really empowered me to use physical exercise as a way to look after myself.
Have you also felt disempowered and helpless when it comes to your own fitness, or as if exercise and gyms aren’t meant for “people like you”?
Do you want to get moving and build a better relationship with your body, but aren’t sure where to even start?
Well, I’m a Pilates instructor who has been there, and gets it. My classes are shame-free, non-judgemental, and an opportunity to explore movement at your own pace without pressure. Whether in a group, or with the detailed support and guidance that I can offer one-to-one.
Find out more about my classes and one-to-one sessions in Levenshulme, South Manchester.
Levenshulme Pilates 